There are three most important decisions in life, Choice for God, career, the choice for a life partner.

We all need to spend more time understanding ourselves first before seeking to understand other people more especially in the line of courtship.

Importance of knowing your temperament

It is important to get to know your dominant or primary temperament since this helps in understanding :

  • how you interact with people
  • how to make better decisions
  • what types of employment are you best suited for
  • how to communicate more effectively
  • learn how to deal with your anger

You will be able to use your strengths to bless others and cooperate with the Holy Spirit to transform your weaknesses.

The choice that we make for a person to court, become engaged to, to marry and any time we make such choices, we reflect our spiritual level at the time we make the choice. A partially spiritual person has knobs comfortably with the person who is partially spiritual.

Our temperament can be detrimental to us if it is not under the control of the holy spirit. Temperament has both good and bad elements in it.

The four temperaments are first divided into two parts:

  1. Extroverted Personalities: The Choleric and Sanguine personality-types are more “out-going,” more sociable, and more comfortable in a crowd, even standing out in a crowd.
  2. Introverted Personalities: The Melancholy and Phlegmatic personality-types are more shy and “reserved” and feel anxious about being in a crowd, especially at being singled-out in a crowd.

It should be noted that all human beings have a degree of each of these four personality types within them, though each person will definitely test out higher in one, with another being a close second.

The brain is divided into four quadrants. Cholerics use the quadrant of the brain which prioritizes, Sanguines use the quadrant of the brain which visualizes, melancholics use the which organizes, Phlegmatics use the quadrant of the brain which harmonizes

Choleric
(Paul and Sarah		 Sanguine
(Peter) 		Melancholy
(Moses)		 Phlegmatic
(Abraham)
Fearless activist,
Problem solver,
Decisive,
Love challenge,
Born leader,
Organize quickly,
Very production-oriented,
Excels in crisis,
Strong-willed   		Loves people,
Makes friends,
Exciting,
Finds jobs easily,
Good sense of humor,
Charms others,
Creative and colorful,
Good storyteller,
Optimistic   		Work well alone,
Planner,
Likes charts and graphs,
Organized,
Appreciate quietness,
Analytical,
Loves beauty,
Sensitive   		Calm,
Low key,
Reliable/Consistent
Makes peace/ Few enemies,
Delegates well
Steady
Good listener,
Effective motivator,
Good administrator  
Leaders,
Builders,
Managers,
Presidents,
Crusaders,
Entrepreneurs		Actors,
Preachers,
Public speakers,
Salesperson,
Relations		Doctors,
Philosophers,
Artists,
Professors   		Technicians,
Accountants,
Teachers,
Diplomats
 
Little need for friends,
Opinionated,
Overconfident,
Can’t relax,
Workaholic,
Nervy,
Can’t say sorry,
Unemotional,
Arrogant,
Manipulative,
Fears loss of control  		Motivated by emotions,
Dislike Schedules,
Hard to say no,
Makes excuse,
Weak-willed,
Gets bored easily,
Loses track on time,
Takes on too much
Easily distracted
Talk too much   		Easily depressed,
Naively idealistic,
Not good under pressure,
Can be a perfectionist
Needs time to do things,
Hard to please,
Self-centered,
Pessimistic,
Moody,
Revengeful   		Stubborn
Uninvolved
Procrastinate
Unenthusiastic
Too peaceful
Careless
Lacks follow-through
Dislike change
Can be lazy
Indecisive  

What your temperament prefers

  • If you are sanguine, you need someone with a steadier nature.
  • Melancholic: needs someone positive and faith-filled.
  • Phlegmatic: Needs someone who is bolder.
  • Choleric: Needs someone who is calmer, less controlling in your space

The Match

  • Choleric: Sanguine or Melancholic but not Choleric or Phlegmatic.
  • Sanguine: Choleric or Phlegmatic but not Sanguine or Melancholic.
  • Melancholic: Choleric or Phlegmatic but not Melancholic or Sanguine
  • Phlegmatic: Melancholic or Sanguine but not Phlegmatic or Choleric

Chide

What does your potential partner bring on board besides looks and property…. other things may fade, get loose, drop, disappear and if you have nothing else going then that’s ominous. If you assume what is salient then you will have to leave regretting why you took the vows and confidently said: “until death do us part”. As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another Proverbs 27:17.

Reference:

Holy Spirit and Choosing a Mate by Henry Wright

Mind Character and Personality by EG White