Hello, are you concerned about finding the “right” person? The best place to find a godly person is on the road to God’s Kingdom. People choose a mate before choosing the God that created the mate, let alone the God that created them. If you are interested in a spiritual person, look for him or her wherever the Spirit of God is. In God’s scheme of things, we generally find what we need and want when we are not actively looking for them, but are focused instead on the Lord and His Kingdom. When our eyes are steadfastly fixed on God, He brings everything else into our sphere.
Our first priority as believers is to seek the Kingdom and righteousness of God. If we do that, He will see to it that we receive all those other things. The key is to fix our attention on God’s will, God’s Word, and God’s glory, and trust Him for the rest.
Seeking the Kingdom and righteousness of God is like walking down a road toward a particular destination, keeping our eyes focused on the goal ahead of us. As long as we stay on the road before us, we grow in the grace and knowledge of the Lord and in His righteousness, which means knowing how to live, act, and relate correctly in life. This knowledge comes through God’s Word and from spending time in His presence.
Along the way, various paths and alleys branch off from the road on either side. In those alleys stand people or objects that try to get our attention. They represent distractions, things that are not necessarily bad in and of themselves, but can cause us to take our eyes off of the Lord.
Consider a young man (AMO) who is making his way down the road, diligently pursuing the Kingdom of God. All of a sudden, in one of the alleyways, he sees a very attractive young woman. Stopping dead in his tracks, he says to himself, “Wow, she’s really cute! I’m going to check her out!” and then saunters over to make her acquaintance.
Two things have just happened. First, his eyes, which, a moment before, were filled with images of God’s Kingdom, are now filled with the image of the young lady. Second, as he moves toward her, he will at some point step off the path because she is not on the road with him, and because he is not watching where he is going. It’s like learning to ride a bicycle. Unless you keep your eyes straight ahead, the bicycle will not go straight; it will swerve to the left or right and throw you off balance. Once the young man lets his eyes wander to the alley, he will veer off the path, losing sight of God in the process. If he is not careful before he knows it, he will end up somewhere he never intended to go.
Anytime we start seeking people, we will be led by people. This is the dynamic of balance that God wants us to see. Once we become preoccupied with someone, or with seeking a particular person, we run the risk of losing God’s direction. If we step off the road to the Kingdom, whatever path we take will lead us backward so that whenever we do eventually make it back to the road, we will likely be bruised and bleeding and farther away from our goal than when we began.
Someone may object, “But if I don’t go looking, I’m going to end up walking this whole road by myself.” That’s not how the dynamics work in the Kingdom of God. Matthew 6:33 says that if we seek first God’s Kingdom and righteousness, then “all these things will be added” to us. This means that, as we go along our way seeking the Kingdom of God, all these other things that we are concerned about will be added: – drawn to us like a magnet. We won’t have to go looking for them. Whenever we follow God’s principles, we receive God’s provision and enjoy God’s promises.
Here is the point: if you have to go look for someone, then the person you are looking for is not on the road with you, not following the same path you are. He or she is not seeking the Kingdom of God. If you find someone off the road, you will have to go out of your way to find them, probably stay out of your way to get them, and then spend the rest of your life trying to bring them into the way.
Anyone you get involved with as a believer should be headed the same way you are, and if both of you are on the same road, at the same approximate place, eventually you will run into each other. You won’t have to go looking. Stay on the road, tread softly, focus on seeking God’s Kingdom and, sooner or later, someone of like mind and heart will approach and the two of you will be drawn together. Don’t ever become so preoccupied by who you want that you forget to be who you are. Who are you? As a believer and a follower of Christ, you are a child of God. You are His possession, His property, His precious gem. It will take you the rest of your life to learn about His knowledge, His Kingdom, and His righteousness and, therefore, learning about who you really are. Righteousness means right standing with God. He wants you to know where you stand with Him: who you are in Christ and what you have in Him.
If you become preoccupied with who you want, you will lose sight of who you are. God wants you to become so consumed by His Kingdom and righteousness that anybody you meet will be, first of all, someone who is on the road with you and, second, at the same place on the road as you are. That way you can move along and relate and grow together as complete individuals at the same stage of development and maturity. Remember, a person who is really not spiritual by seeking God first, has no business getting into a relationship.
Before choosing a mate, seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness.