Question:

I believe fornication is sin, but it has not gained latitude in our pulpits to talk about it in depth, offer biblical reasons to refrain from premarital sexual intercourse. Can you help us?

Answer

1st Corinthians 6:18: Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.

Premarital sex has become an accepted way of life in today’s society—promoted as the norm in most movies and television programs. Who, then, has the courage to talk against it? God does, and so should we.
These ideas are foreign to our contemporary world. When dealing with questions of sexual morality, we have to ask: Who determines what is morally right and good? Is it the legal system of a secular society, or the permissiveness that characterizes it (“Everyone is doing it!”)? For Christians the answer is clear: God has revealed His will in the Scriptures. When legal systems betray Christian morality, we must obey God.

In discussing this subject, we have to examine the biblical teachings about virginity, sexual promiscuity, marriage, and sex. Here are some things to consider:

1. Regulations on Virginity:

Virginity is a divine gift to be protected until it finds its goal within the loving parameters of the divine institution of marriage. This goal is not always achieved, but the gift must be preserved in submission to the Lord.
Female virginity was highly valued in the Old Testament, as evidenced in its laws. Loss of virginity could, in some cases, result in capital punishment (Deut. 22:20, 21); while in others, marriage was required (verses 28, 29). Sex outside of marriage was a social, moral, and spiritual evil that was unacceptable to the Lord. With respect to male virginity, there is no biblical law that specifically deals with it, making it necessary to look for other evidence.

2. Regulations on Sexual Promiscuity and Adultery:

Sexual promiscuity damaged the two persons by transforming them into instruments of personal pleasure in the absence of the mutual respect, responsibility, and accountability provided by marriage. Sexual intercourse within marriage unifies a man and a woman in the bonds of divine love; otherwise, it shows no respect for others and damages the couple’s self-image.
We find specific legislation condemning male sexual promiscuity through prostitution and/or adultery. Satisfying one’s sexual desires with a prostitute was not an acceptable practice in Israel (Lev. 19:29; Prov. 5; 7:10-27). In the New Testament, prostitution was also clearly rejected and condemned (1 Cor. 6:15, 16). In the Old Testament adultery was a capital crime, resulting in the execution of both individuals (Lev. 20:10; Deut. 22:22). This simply emphasizes the seriousness with which God took this aspect of the social and religious life of His people.
In the New Testament adultery and fornication are considered incompatible with Christian life and doctrine (1 Tim. 1:10; Heb. 13:4; Eph. 5:3; 1 Thess. 4:3). Hence, the evidence points to the fact that virginity was expected from men in Israel and the Christian church.

3. Biblical View of Marriage and Sex:

The biblical indictment against sexual promiscuity is based on the Bible’s view of the dignity of the person and on the holy nature of marriage. The Lord rejects any activity that degrades those two principles. According to Genesis 2:18, 21-24 man and woman were created for companionship, to establish a permanent commitment to each other in love. The physical unity of their bodies was possible and meaningful in a setting of permanency and love.

In the Scripture, a person is not just a body that can be detached from the totality of his or her being, to function simply as an object of pleasure by another for personal sexual satisfaction. Since one’s personal value cannot be separated from one’s body, a dehumanization of the body has a direct impact on our self-image, leaving behind permanent scars in the soul. Sex without love and permanent commitment bypasses personhood and drags the individual to a lower status of existence. Sex for a favor is prostitution.

Marriage, instituted by God, provides the existential ambience within which each of the partners finds self-realization, permanent companionship, respect, and expressions of loving concern for the other (1 Cor. 7:10). The mutuality of the public commitment and its dimension of permanency make it safe for both individuals to fully surrender their whole person—not just the physical body—in love to each other. Consequently, the couple comes out of the sexual relationship—the most pro-found human expression of love—enriched and with a deep feeling of self-realization; they twine become one (Gen. 2:24). 1st Cor 6:16 What? Know ye not that he which is joined to a harlot is one body? For two, saith he, shall be one flesh. Sex cleaves two to become one. It is only in mutual trust and love that we surrender ourselves to another person. Physical pleasure separated from soul commitment in love, even if enjoyed by consenting adults, splits that which God united.

However, the world has changed.

It is a time when the world cannot differentiate love from emotions. Emotions brings pleasure and not happiness, excitement and not joy. Emotions runs hot and cold whereas love is a principle that stands the test of all seasons. Even though love offers excitement, it is not a sheer emotionalism.

It is a time when the world alludes to change, and sages to us:” when the music changes, so does the dance.” … God does not change He is the same in all ages, so should we, for neither has the bible found an upgrade. Let us be dictated by the pure ‘thus says the lord. Wide is the path that leads to destruction. Sexual purity should be cherished. Let us learn to say no and uphold chastity by abstinence. Patience pays and no good [thing] will He (GOD) withhold from them that walk uprightly. (Psalm 84:11)

It is a time when the world offers ‘safe sex before marriage’; it is a false teaching to be shunned by all. A condom cannot protect one from Gods judgement on sin. It is a means of cutting short the cause-effect relationship. Whereby people are ready to have sex but not ready to have children or even avoiding STIs.

What of foreplay? Foreplay is an erotic stimulation preceding sexual intercourse. Why start the engine when you are not going anywhere. A journey of a thousand miles starts with a step, thus avoid the kiss or foreplay in general…. Moreover, If this is romance in love, then it is evil when done out of marriage. You really should not poke that lion with a stick. It is a bad idea. Don’t do it. The bell will forever ring when you get married. The bible records even after Mary was espoused to Joseph, they never came together (Mat 1:18)

Here is the Holy Writ:

Gal 5:16 [This] I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh.
1 Corinthian: 6:13, 15, 19, 20… Now the body [is] not for fornication, but for the Lord; and the Lord for the body. (15) Know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ, and make [them] the members of a harlot? God forbid. (19)What? Know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost [which is] in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? (20) For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.

Man was to bear God’s image, both in outward resemblance and in character (Pp 45.2). Let us invite the Holy Spirit in our lives and we will attain sexual purity. We are not our own, we are His.

God’s law is not a fence obstructing us from freedom to joy and excitement; it is a guardrail, a safety furniture to safeguard us from sorrow, unwanted pregnancies, heartbreak, missing heaven….importantly it bids us to love Him more.

Rev 22:14 -15 Blessed [are] they that do his commandments, that they may have right to the tree of life, and may enter in through the gates into the city. For without [are] dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

The Scriptures rejects premarital sex because sex without love (agape), commitment, and the permanency explicit in a marriage relationship is spiritually, morally, and emotionally degrading. However, God’s grace, through Christ, knows no limits; it offers those who have fallen short of the divine expectation healing through divine forgiving love. Those who accept it will be re-created in God’s image.

Restoration starts with repentance. Prov 28:13 (He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh [them] shall have mercy.), take it to Jesus. Even thou sin brings about wages and consequences, the wages (death) is blotted out by true confession, and the consequences follows as beautiful scars reminding us of how sin is destructive, but you’ll be saved and free.

To those who may have wandered away from the divine intention for human sexuality, I will only quote the Scripture: To them Jesus’ merciful voice says: ” Go now [forgiven] and leave your life of sin” (John 8:11, NIV)

God has given us sex as a gift, a conjugal act for married partners.

References:

Biblical Research Institute General Conference of Seventh-day Adventists®